The Four Most Common Emotional Intelligence Problems That Cause Career Derailment
What are the top reasons leaders derail in their careers? Career derailment refers to the unexpected and often sudden decline in an individual's career trajectory, often due to behavioral issues, poor interpersonal skills, or failure to adapt to changing circumstances. This article explores four common emotional intelligence problems that can impede professional progress: lack of self-awareness, poor self-regulation, inadequate workplace relationship skills, and deficient empathy. In this article I will highlight how each problem area is defined and how it shows up in the workplace. I will also provide examples of coaching questions that have helped leaders I have coached manage their emotional intelligence better. Additionally, I'll share a case example illustrating how executive coaching can address these issues and prevent career derailment.
Research has overwhelmingly shown that emotional intelligence is a key predictor of career success, and deficiencies in EI are a primary cause of career derailment (Bradberry & Greaves, 2017; Boyatzis, 2018). Specifically, these four areas of emotional intelligence have been identified as particularly problematic for leaders:
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Lack of Self-Awareness
Definition
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and how their emotions may affect their behavior. A lack of self-awareness means that an individual is often oblivious to their own emotional states and how they affect others.
Demonstration in the Workplace
Leaders who lack self-awareness may misinterpret situations, react inappropriately, or fail to recognize how their behavior impacts their team. This can lead to poor decision-making, strained relationships, and a negative work environment.
- What emotions do you typically experience during stressful situations at work?
- How do you believe your behavior affects your team members and colleagues?
- What steps will you take this week to practice becoming more aware of your emotions at work?
Poor Self-Regulation
Definition
Self-regulation refers to the ability to manage and control one's emotional reactions in various situations. Leaders who struggle with self-regulation often exhibit impulsive behavior, mood swings, blame others inappropriately, and have difficulty handling stress.
Demonstration in the Workplace
A leader with poor self-regulation might lash out at employees, make hasty decisions without considering the consequences, or struggle to remain calm under pressure. This can lead to a toxic work environment and high turnover rates.
- What situations trigger your strongest emotional reactions, and how do you usually respond?
- What value or belief do you have that might contribute to you reacting very strongly?
- How can you develop strategies to stay calm and composed during challenging situations?
Inadequate Workplace Relationship Skills
Definition
Workplace relationship skills encompass the ability to build and maintain healthy relationships, communicate effectively, and work collaboratively with others. Leaders who are not practicing these social skills may struggle to connect with their team, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.
Demonstration in the Workplace
Such leaders might avoid social interactions, fail to listen actively, or struggle to convey their ideas clearly. This can result in poor teamwork, decreased morale, and a lack of trust within the organization.
- How do you approach building relationships with your team members?
- What steps can you take to improve your communication and listening skills?
- What are two or three reasons that having improved working relationships will benefit your career?
Deficient Empathy
Definition
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Leaders who are low on empathy often have difficulty relating to their team's experiences and emotions, leading to a disconnect between them and their employees.
Demonstration in the Workplace
An empathetically deficient leader might dismiss employees' concerns, fail to provide necessary support, or make decisions that negatively impact team members without considering their perspectives. This often creates a culture of disengaged and resentful employees.
- How often do you consider the feelings and perspectives of your team when making decisions?
- What can you do to become more attuned to the emotional needs of your employees?
- What would be practical advantages to you showing you care about your colleagues?
Case Example
Eric's Troubles with Poor Self-Regulation
Eric, a senior leader at a large university, had a reputation for being highly skilled but also emotionally volatile. His inability to manage stress led to frequent outbursts at team meetings, causing anxiety and discomfort among his employees. One incident, where he publicly berated and swore at a subordinate for a minor mistake, led to a formal complaint and almost cost him his job. His colleagues began to avoid interactions with him, and so much conflict percolated through the department that workplace satisfaction and performance plummeted.
Recognizing the need for change, his superior suggested executive coaching. Though initially skeptical and rather resistant, arguing that others should have higher standards and it wasn't him who had the problem, his coach was eventually able to make connections with him due to the coach's competence, professionalism and meeting the client "where is was at". Through an emotional intelligence assessment, he discovered his lack of self-regulation was the root cause of his workplace challenges. His coach helped him identify triggers for his emotional reactions and develop strategies to manage his stress more effectively. With his coach's help, techniques such as intentional, situational relaxation breathing, a brief mindfulness focus exercise, and structured reflection became part of his daily routine.
Eric also worked on improving his communication skills, learning to express his concerns calmly and constructively, avoiding blaming others by avoiding beginning sentences that begin with the word, "you." Over time, he and his colleagues noticed a significant improvement in his relationships with his team. His employees felt more valued and respected, leading to a more positive and productive work environment. By addressing his emotional intelligence issues through coaching, Eric was able to save his career and become a more effective leader.Conclusion
Emotional intelligence is crucial for career success. The four most common EI problems—lack of self-awareness, poor self-regulation, inadequate workplace relationship management skills, and deficient empathy—can significantly hinder a leader's effectiveness, derail their career and be a major driver of high turnover. Executive coaching, with its focus on personalized development and practical strategies, is the most effective way to address these issues. By enhancing their emotional intelligence, leaders can build stronger relationships, make better decisions, and create a more positive work environment, ultimately ensuring their career success and longevity.
References
- Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2017). Emotional Intelligence 2.0.
- Boyatzis, R. E. (2018). The Behavioral Level of Emotional Intelligence and Its Impact on Leadership Efficacy. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 5, 295-320.
